Space Yoshi X
8th January 2008 - 05:35 PM
Alright Nerds and Nerdetts. SYX was digging through his vast game collection and found:
So he's going to play it and write down all the shit he does here. Lets get this Train wreck-a-rollin'
Chapter 1:
-Ok, here we go. It really is a nolstalgiafag's dream playing the origiobal R/B/Y versions. I haven't played through since I was like, 12. Thats alot of years.
Anywho, Oak, the dumb shit, forgot my name. I mean, theres only like, 8 people in Pallet town. Anywho, I'll name myself Kirby, or KIRBY because I'm immune to case sensitivity. Now he must have alzheimers or something, because he forgot his own grandson's name. Anywho, lets call him MOON. Ok, now lets play some pokeymanz.
First, I withdraw my potion from my PC. That on its own makes no sense. What is this? Tron? We can turn medical equipment into data? If they can do that, why not just copy the data of a gold nugget and make a million? Oh well, its not my fault no one thought of it. So lets ditch this crib and catch some pokčmon.
Screw Oak, I'm just going to go into the grass and wrestle the little fags into the ball. But of course the old fart has that grass watched like a hawk and he sees me. Now he's forcing his old shit pokčmon from his childhood. Now, I'm awesome so I get to pick first. Fuck you MOON! I'm a pick Charmander. Every generation, theres only one thats really worth while. Now, MOON picks one. Don't you dare pick Squirtly MO-DAMNITHEPICKEDSQUIRTLE-
Anywho, Ima name my Charmander DORKO. Fuck ya, I got a DORKO.
Now he wants to battle. I obviously have the type disadvantage(thanks MOON), so it looks like Ima die. But whats this? all they have is a basic tackle and tail whip combo. I somehow win because MOON's Squirtfag is too stupid to Tail whip properly(it fails every time). Obviously Squirtle is no more than a bag of fail.
MOON runs off crying and I get some EXP-FUCKYALEVEL6-for all my trouble. Time to go catch some pokčmon....except I has no ballz. Gotta buy some. ON THE ROAD TO VERIDIAN CITY. I beat down some pidgey(not a single Rattata wtf) and get up to level 7 by the time I get to the pokemart. I can't by pokčballs. Instead the ass makes me taks some parcel to Oak. godamn.
Anywho, I being the parcel to fagboy and he then MOON shows up and he gives us both pokčdex's. Just great. I like the pokčdex. Anywho, I go back to veridian, leaving a path of destruction. DORKO is now at level 9. Lets heal and save. Class is about to start.
More soon.
incense master
8th January 2008 - 07:07 PM
haha i like
Gold Torizo
8th January 2008 - 08:34 PM
Lol, I didn't know Poke`mon was a comedy.
Space Yoshi X
8th January 2008 - 10:19 PM
Chapter 2:
-OK, so I guess I gotta train Dorko. Poor guy doesn't even know Ember yet. Ima go to the pokčmon league and train in the grass. So Ima trainin' and-FUCKYALEVEL9-I run into MOON. Thats it, my and my epic DORKO are gonna beat his ass down. But whats this? A level 9 Pidgey? Damnit Moon, no playing between stories! But its no problem, 3 count in under a minute. But I didn't know it was a tag team, and MOON's squirtle pwnt meh. Poor DORKO. Time to black out.
By the way, why the hell do I black out? Am I such a sore loser that I just faint every time I lose? Am I having a seizure? Does MOON even bother to call 911? Apparently, since they bring me to a Pokčmon center. But why a POKEMON CENTER!? I'm the one who's passed out on the ground! Fuck DORKO, I need medical attention!
Ah well, Pidgey got me to level 10, so I guess its time for the forest. God, that place has the best music ever. Time to beat up some bug catchers, but not before I catch me a Weedle. The golden rule of pokčmon however, is that you NEVER find what you want, even when they're the most common. I get to level 11 before finding one. How could a Kakuna even come out and attack me anyway. Also, why do THEY get to be at level 5 when Weedle doesn't evolve until level 7. HAX!!!
OSHIT! WEEDLE! But DORKO kills them all in one hit, so I can't attack. I'll just throw the damn ball and hope for the best-DOWNBDOWNB-woot, a Weedle. I won't bother to name him because he sucks. I mean, its a godamn worm. Whats it gonna do? Look at how pathetic he is:
Alright, now its time to fight my way out of here. No bug catcher is safe from DORKO's ember. I'm suprised he didn't burn the forest down. Must be a wet day. I manage to get to level 12 just as I leave the forest. Now we save in Pewter City and call it a day.
MastaWario
8th January 2008 - 11:06 PM
True Fax: R/B/Y > every other version
Moon
8th January 2008 - 11:23 PM
This is so full of lulz ima die.
x_X
Yoshio
9th January 2008 - 12:00 AM
| QUOTE |
| ITT: SYX does pokemon |
LOL, you do pokemon?
MastaWario
9th January 2008 - 12:22 AM
Bobomb
9th January 2008 - 01:13 AM
FUK YA, I GOT A DORKO
Space Yoshi X
9th January 2008 - 02:55 AM
| QUOTE (Yoshio @ Jan 9 2008, 12:00 AM) |
| LOL, you do pokemon? |
Oh ya,
its the best ever.
Doc Yoshi
9th January 2008 - 03:24 AM
| QUOTE (Dr. Mario @ Jan 9 2008, 12:22 AM) |
 |
WHS
Moon
9th January 2008 - 05:15 AM
Do moar
Bubba-Man
9th January 2008 - 05:25 AM
LOLFUNNEH
Space Yoshi X
9th January 2008 - 06:25 AM
Chapter 3:
-Alright, here we go. Rested and ready to continue. Brocks a pussy, so we'll just go straight to Cerulean City. But wait, some fag is talking to me. Whats this!? He's dragging me against my will to the Gym. How is it he has the right to choose who goes that way? Is he going to drag 6-year-olds and old ladies to the gym too? What a prick. Then the bastard jumps the fence and dashes back to his post.
Anywho, Might as well beat down Brocky boy while I'm here. But first, his minion. Whats odd is how they all automatically submit when you beat the boss. They hsve absolutly no balls to fight on their own. Atleast its not another bug catcher. And whats this? Diglett? DORKO uses ember, Diglett uses...Scratch!? How in the hell does he pull that off? Details...Details... A few hits and he's down for the-FUCKYALEVEL13-count. Now Sandshrew. Lets make quick work of him. All this bastard does is scratch too. What a girl. Quick work, time for Brock.
Brock is a total badass. Spiky hair and rock pokémon. Geodude thinks he's all that and attacks with Tackle and defence curl. Defence curl does shit all since Ember is special based and a few growls take care of tackle. What a gladiator-FUCKYALEVEL14-he turned out to be. Next is Onix. Now Onix is a total badass. 28 feet long, Tackle, Screech and Bide. Screech nulls my growl and Tackle seems to do his share. Unfortunatly all I can do is growl while he's biding or else I die in one hit. After a long battle and a couple potions, Onix falls.-FUCKYALEVEL14. I just won the Boulder Badge...And Bide. Whoop-de-doo.
Now with the Boulder Badge, the gate nazi will get off my case and I can go to Cerulean City.
Also I gotta get some more pokémonz.
Moon
9th January 2008 - 06:30 AM
Epic lawl
Moon
10th January 2008 - 01:01 AM
LAWL @ the end.
incense master
10th January 2008 - 01:03 AM
epic
Yoshio
10th January 2008 - 06:42 AM
yeah, I bought the magikarp too
I raised it to a mighty Gyrados
worth every penny turns out
Xan
10th January 2008 - 10:14 AM
I loved putting Gara in my team. I just wish the dragon moves were...well. There's only 1, and it only does 40 atk damage.
Space Yoshi X
10th January 2008 - 01:49 PM
Tentacruel is the best water pokémon ever btw.
Props to whoever knows why.
Space Yoshi X
10th January 2008 - 02:16 PM
Chapter 5:
-MT MOOOOOOOOOON. You know it'll suck 'cause it has MOON in the name. Anywho, its a pretty straight-forward dungeon. The music isn't nearly as cool as the forest though. Some bitch with a Clefairy tries to beat me, but she can't handle the flavour-FUCKYALEVEL13! Several Zubats later, I catch a Geodude. Back then, you probably thought a floating rock was scraping the barrell, no?
Also super nerd is the lulzyest name ever. It even shows them on the ground like the clutz they all probably are. And whats with them always using electric and poison types? Is that creatures' way of saying nerds are a toxin to society? Oh well, atleast electric is cool. Round a rare candy too. and Water Gun(we'll save the TM rant for another time) as well as a Moon Stone. Eventually we start to find some rockets. Now Team Rocket was epic. Why don't we get more of them? Screw Magma/Aqua. I want the guys in black with the R. They were my childhood. ;____;
By now YOSHIO is at level 16, and a rare candy for level 17. Then we run into the greediest nerd ever. He's found 2 fossils, and won't share. Does he have a pokédex to fill? Does he have to be the pokémon master? I think not. Its Fossil hijacking time. YOSHIO pecks him into submission-FUCKYA18! Unfortunatly YOSHIO is getting weak, so DORKO will finishes the battle-FUCKYA19! Imagrab the dome fossil and GTFO.
I find an Ekans in the grass and name him MANDEW, save at pokčmon center and shut her down.
Xan
10th January 2008 - 04:36 PM
| QUOTE (Dr. Wily @ Jan 10 2008, 01:49 PM) |
Tentacruel is the best water pokémon ever btw.
Props to whoever knows why. |
Even if it's just R/B/Y, Starmie rapes 'Cruel
Space Yoshi X
10th January 2008 - 04:57 PM
Curses, I forgot about Starmie.
Toxic/Wrap is still best ever
Bobomb
10th January 2008 - 09:17 PM
| QUOTE (Dr. Wily @ Jan 10 2008, 04:57 PM) |
Curses, I forgot about Starmie.
Toxic/Wrap is still best ever |
I like Tentacruel now. BTW, these are still going epic, so great job.
Moon
10th January 2008 - 10:38 PM
| QUOTE (Dr. Wily @ Jan 10 2008, 02:16 PM) |
| |
This keeps getting more epic as they go on.
Space Yoshi X
11th January 2008 - 01:32 AM
I'm running out of things to Rant about.
incense master
11th January 2008 - 01:44 AM
really? there's a lot of bs to rant about in red/blue. i just dont remember >.>
i remember fuschia, how the walls were invisible. and the safari zone, where they counted your steps.
Space Yoshi X
11th January 2008 - 01:54 AM
Ya, but I'm not there yet. I'll figure something out though.
incense master
11th January 2008 - 02:03 AM
hmm...i remember team rocket did something to a house in cerulean...you had to find bill..and every trainer in the gym was in the water
Moon
11th January 2008 - 03:57 AM
And you had to go through that damn bridge.
MastaWario
11th January 2008 - 05:16 AM
Nothing's as bad as Victory Road to me....Of course I despised ever cave/tunnel...
Papero
11th January 2008 - 04:26 PM
I hated that cave that was pitch dark.
I didn't know Flash was a HM back then.
incense master
11th January 2008 - 04:43 PM
| QUOTE (Papero @ Jan 11 2008, 11:26 AM) |
I hated that cave that was pitch dark.
I didn't know Flash was a HM back then. |
and you needed to use it, that waste of a move.
Space Yoshi X
11th January 2008 - 05:04 PM
I didn't need flash to get through rock tunnel.
Xan
11th January 2008 - 07:04 PM
True, play through it once, or google for a map of the area.
Space Yoshi X
11th January 2008 - 07:15 PM
Or you could even just teach it to some shit-abra instead of wasting one of your main guy's moves.
Xan
11th January 2008 - 10:50 PM
| QUOTE (Dr. Wily @ Jan 11 2008, 07:15 PM) |
| Or you could even just teach it to some shit-abra instead of wasting one of your main guy's moves. |
yeah - I did that with fly too. It was just annoying especially when I training against E4. I has to cycle to Viridian, to switch to a pidgey, fly to the plateau, switch back again, then face them.
Space Yoshi X
12th January 2008 - 03:03 AM
Surf is the only worthwhile HM
I should really update this story D=
Duplisour
13th January 2008 - 03:32 AM
Rant about how you can't go back from Cerulean to Pweter city.
Space Yoshi X
13th January 2008 - 03:49 AM
By the way, since I play on the bus too and from school, I won't update weekends.
Space Yoshi X
14th January 2008 - 05:39 PM
Chapter 6:
-Cerulean has got to be the most fucked up city I've ever seen. Its absolutly impossible to leave. You can't go back to Mt. Moon, and the cape to the North is a dead end. The only way to leave it through a small opening on the South side, but no. Its blocked by a tree. Whoever designed this shithole obviously fails at Sim City.
Anywho, I try and train MANDEW, but by level 12, its plain to see that he's just made of too much fail to be of any use. I deposit everyone into the PC. Now its just DORKO and YOSHIO. Lets try the cape first, but OSHIT ITS MOON! MOON has just come back from the cape and he wants to fight me. What a douche. Pidgeyotto is no match for YOSHIOIOIOIO and Abra is a joke. I mean, the guy doesn't even have confusion yet. Rattata dies nextFUCKYALEVEL19! Wartortle, I leave to DORKO. For some reason MOON keeps using Tackle and Tail Whip. Bubble is too good for him obviously. MOON runs of crying, time to continue.
But whats this? The bridge is guarded by 5 punks. These kids are obviously scary since theres a bug catcher hiding in the grass to the left of the bridge. YOSHIO doesn't see the big deal. He's at level 20 just in time for the 3rd douchebag bridge nazi.
DORKO makes quick work of the final 2 bumping him up to not only level 20, but 21 as well. awesome! After completing the bridge, some Team Rocket fag offers me the once in a lifetime chance to be a member. I'm like fuck ya-wait, why am I saying no? flounder OFF GAME! I WANNA BE A ROCKET! GAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! Fission Mailed, no rocketeering for me ;___;
Now theres even more douches blocking the way. Apparently its a good training spot or something. Too bad I burninate all their pokémanz with my DORKO. He quickly gets to level 23. And thats where he'll stay since YOSHIO needs some love. He manages level 21 just in time to reach the cape and Bill. Bill really fucked up. He turned himself into a pokémon. He's living the 10 year old's dream when I walk in and he asks for my help. Obviously I must get Cut for this, right? Well, no. I save his bacon and he gives me tickets to a Party on a boat...a boat in VERMILLION! He says he can't stand partys. but I'm sure the only reason I got these is because it's physically impossible to leave the city.
Anywho, we'll cross that bridge another time. Time to save at the Cerulean Pokémon center.
Moon
23rd January 2008 - 07:40 AM
D:
